Don't Let This Happen to YOU!

This is my Personal Testimony

Dear Friend,

 

Please allow me to take a few moments to share with you my personal testimony that involves the power and persuasion of the wrong kind of music. A part of me feels uncertain and uneasy about sharing my experience with you, for several reasons. First, I am completely ashamed of my past, and would rather keep it buried where it belongs. Howbeit, I feel constrained to share it with you. Second, Christians have a tendency to magnify experiences beyond what they are worth. We are often vulnerable to becoming out-of-kilter when fixed on certain subjects of deep interest or intrigue. Third, how many more tales of tragedy do we need to hear in order that young people, and Christians alike, serve God? Fourth, I have a fear that some young person might look at my example, and think that, since I made it out alright apparently, so will they. Lastly, someone might treat this portion of my life with a spirit of flippancy just because he or she will never head down the same obvious path of destruction. In fact, you may not even be attracted to the sort of music that appealed to me when I was a teenager. Nevertheless, there may be that certain someone that needed to hear this.

 

Besides, the main purpose for sharing my testimony is to awaken your realization of an unseen, spiritual world: a world comprised of a literal devil along with his angels. Whether you realize it or not, or whether you like to believe it or not, this spiritual world has launched a calculated attack on your life. The good news is, when we obey and fear God like we should, we no longer have reason to fear this spiritual world of darkness.

 

First, if you have never personally received the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, may I then recommend that you take a moment to read the Prologue at the beginning of this book. If you truly are a born again Christian, it is vital that you understand that whether or not you tread the same path that I did is not what matters most to Satan. What is most important to him is that you discard God’s intention for your life by demonstrating your own self-will. Simply put, the devil wants you to do what you want to do: not what God would have you to do. Once more, the story of my shipwrecked youth is primarily to induce your soberness to a reality:

 

The wiles of the devil. For we wrestle… against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places…the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:11-16

The prince of the power of the air, the spirit. Ephesians 2:2

The god of this world. 2 Corinthians 4:4

Satan himself [who] is transformed into an angel of light. 2 Corinthians 11:14

That spirit of antichrist…even now already is it in the world. 1 John 4:3

The depths of Satan. Revelation 2:24

 

My father personally led me to Christ when I was about the age of nine. If it weren’t for this fact, I most likely would have never made it out of the miry pit that I ended in. Unfortunately, I never truly grew in my relationship with God. I failed to look diligently to my Saviour. I failed to look unto Jesus the author and finisher of my faith; and I failed to consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself. In summary, I failed to lay it to heart my Lord’s death on the cross and what he endured for me. Even though God makes available his grace to grow in the Christian life, I failed of his grace because I never really developed a heart for God. When this happens in the heart of God’s child, the empty void will end up being filled with the wrong things or the wrong people. When a person does not truly know what it is to love God, then the Christian life appears to be nothing more than dos and don’ts. Keeping the Lord’s commandments and living by the Bible then becomes drudgery and a boring obligation. Consequently, at about the age of ten, I developed a great love—not for God—but for the wrong kind of music.

 

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God.  Hebrews 12:15

 

About the age of thirteen, bitterness began to grow deep within my heart surrounding the various circumstances in my life. It was during this time that I had fallen in love with Guns N Roses, the popular metal band of the late eighties and early nineties. Looking back on my life, I can clearly see the spiritual oppression that was taking place upon my mind and heart at that time. More and more, I was cultivating immense disdain and disgust for Christianity, church, and the Bible.

 

Not long thereafter, I was introduced to heavier metal through the band, Metallica. I was completely charmed and allured by the melodic guitar solos in their various songs. These solos were interrupted by abrupt crashing, thunderous chords of distortion and pulsating rhythms. At first I was disappointed to hear the end of these solos in what I considered the ruin of their songs. However, the natural doors of my mind quickly opened, and I began to understand in my flesh the message behind the music. I became entirely enamored by this band’s music, and they became my favorite band.

 

Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. Hebrews 12:15

 

God was clearly speaking to my heart about my spiritual condition, but it became my habit of ignoring him, of enduring conviction, of quenching his Spirit, and of searing my conscience. I loved my music, and I did not want to give it up. Truly, it had my heart, and I did not want to serve God with my life. I wanted to live my life the way that I desired. At this time, I viewed Christianity as being entirely boring, weak, and just plainly ridiculous.

 

For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds. 2 Peter 2:8

 

At the age of fourteen, I began smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. There was also an attraction to the occult that began to stir more and more in me. It was a growing enticement toward a general blend of witchcraft, romanticism, fantasy, and the whimsical imagery of the New Age. I did not adhere to any strict tenets and beliefs of any certain religious sect. I just wanted to devise my own make-believe world where I could do what I wanted to do without any fear of God or consequences. Nevertheless, contrary to today’s various descriptions of the Craft and the New Age, I knew deep down there was a literal God and that there was a real person of the devil.

 

At fifteen years of age, I quickly learned the guitar. This was to help me further my newfound dream of becoming a rock star. I spent most of my time practicing the techniques and methods of the bands that I admired. Then, I creatively applied what I learned, and made up my own songs. In actuality, I ate, drank, and slept heavy metal.

At sixteen years of age, I made a personal vow before God that I was never going to serve him with my life. I had heard it preached before about teenagers’ intentions of sowing “wild oats” just for a time; but I promised God I was never coming back.

 

During this time, I was also forced to attend a home for troubled teens. This was the result of my father’s decision, a decision he desperately needed to make. While attending this home, God repeatedly tried to get a hold of my heart through the preaching of his word. However, I did not want to trade my deep thirst for the world’s music, and I didn’t want to let go of my dreams for my future. After five months in this home, I was expelled.

 

My father unexpectedly took me back. He had done what he could in an attempt to help me, so there was nothing more he could do or say. By seventeen years of age, God was giving me over to what I had been fighting for all along—my so-called freedom. Henceforth, I could wear my hair long, dye my hair in bizarre colors, pierce my tongue, use drugs, and live licentiously if I wanted to. From here on, I marched my hardest headlong in my pursuit of being a rock star. I also found new friends that shared the same passion for rock music. Together, we fantasized about our supposed future success as a band. In addition, bands like Korn, Deftones, White Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, and Pantera influenced us heavily

 

Lest there by any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. Hebrews 12:16

 

By eighteen years of age, an unreasonable and uncontrollable hatred toward God was infesting my heart and taking completely over. This was the result of the open door within my own heart toward the occult and mystic world. I had been solicited by this unseen world for several years now, and experienced continuous feelings of flattery, as if someone was interested in me, someone that I couldn’t see. Around this time of my life, I was well aware of the evil activity that was around me. A heavy spirit of darkness began to follow me more and more at a constant pace. During this period, I was forced by my father to leave home once again due to the mounting tension and presence of evil in the home.

 

Again, I was not subscribing to any specific sect of false religion. Nonetheless, I was truly involved in what the Bible clearly identifies as witchcraft and enchantment. I also knew that Lucifer was more than just the essence of the universe and sin, as is falsely taught by many today. Notwithstanding, I had become willingly ignorant of the truth that Lucifer, as Satan, was truly the wrathful, malicious enemy of the entire seed of Adam. I had redefined and characterized him as a sweet, dark prince encircling beauty, enlightenment, and lust.

 

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! Isaiah 14:12

 

The devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; and saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Matthew 4:8-9

 

At nineteen years of age, the fantasy that I fabricated in my own imagination quickly crumbled, as well as my hopes of becoming a rock musician. I had been already experiencing sporadic seasons of fatigue and lethargy that had slowly become worse from ages seventeen to nineteen. At length, the fatigue finally settled into a chronic state. Later, doctors officially diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, an illness with assorted symptoms that baffle the medical field today with only theories of causes and cures. I also developed a sort of allergic reaction to foods in general, even though I have no detected food allergies. This brought added fatigue, and oftentimes a paleness and sickly look to my countenance, along with dark, sunken eyes. In addition, a normal eight-hour sleep was no longer enough to give me the refreshment that my body needed. I always felt completely exhausted. My mind and thoughts also became more and more uncontrollable. At times, especially during my sleep, new, fully developed songs spewed out of my imagination without the ability to turn them off, to the point that it became extremely vexing.

 

For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this cause many are weak and sickly. 1 Corinthians 11:29-30

 

Moreover, I acquired Central Sleep Apnea in which the nervous system fails to remind the body to breathe while sleeping. Also, my body would often paralyze when I was trying to go to sleep. This event began to increase more and more to the point that it would happen repeatedly in a single night, at times. I remained conscious or in a trance while anticipating the following events, at which time, a devil, or devils, would come over my body to torment my mind and inflict immense fear in me. When their chills and horrific voices approached my face, it was more than what I could bear. At this moment, I was forced to call upon God for help. As soon as I humbled myself before God in this somewhat selfish prayer, these unclean spirits departed immediately. I learned that this was God’s way of reminding me that I was being entirely dishonest with him and with myself. He was still in control, and I was still running from him. Consequently, it was from this reality that I was failing to get away.

 

The Spirit of the LORD came upon David…But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him…And it came to pass when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul… 1 Samuel 16:13-14, 23