Developing Convictions In Your Children

by Dr. Bud Calvert, Pastor

Many parents have experienced the sad scenario of losing their children. "What went wrong?" these forlorn parents ask; "I took my children to church, sent them to a Christian school, and told them how to live, but now they have gone out into the world and have quit on God." Does the Bible mean what it says in Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Or does it mean, as some interpret, that they will leave, but that someday, hopefully, they will come back?

Many parents send their children to a Christian college, or even high school, with the prayer that the school will straighten out their children. Many compare a Christian school to a great moral washing machine designed to wash the dirty laundry—children—with detergent—the Bible—whereby every child will come out 99.44 percent clean! But no parent can ever rightfully blame their children’s Christian school or college if their children do not develop godly character. The Proverbs are statements of general truth—they are more often than not true. Parents that do everything right may still have a child that makes wrong choices, but the likelihood of that is greatly diminished.

However, parents, if you have not trained your children to have good, Biblical convictions by the time they enter college, your own homework assignment is far overdue, and there is a good chance you are too late.

It is not my purpose to delineate the problems that many parents face but rather to share one of the solutions in developing convictions in the lives of your children. Most parents who lose their children do so because they have failed to instruct their youngsters to have their own convictions. Often children follow a set of rules that their parents, school, and church have established and never develop convictions of their own. Many parents, and Christian schools for that matter, teach young people to "do as I say and don’t ask any questions." But all convictions must be based upon God’s Word, or they are merely preferences. We are to let our children know the Biblical grounds for our beliefs and that our convictions are not just a list of "don’ts" with which we seek to live puritanical lives. Going to the Bible and helping young people to see what God says about an issue gives credibility and authority to our beliefs. I have frequently said, "‘For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world’ and lose his own kids."

The Bible teaches us that the issues of life emanate from the heart (Prov. 4:23). Our hearts will ultimately determine our actions. Intertwined with the heart is conviction, which is a "fixed belief." Convictions become guideposts to guard our consciences and give us direction in life. May I share with you what I believe to be the four-fold process of establishing convictions in our own hearts, as well as in the hearts of our children?

Notice the instruction Moses gives to the children of Israel in Deuteronomy 5:1: "Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your ears this day, that ye may learn them, and keep, and do them." Please notice that Moses also reiterates the Ten Commandments to Israel in this chapter. The Apostle Paul teaches us that these commandments were not given as a staircase to Heaven, but rather that "the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith" (Gal. 3:24).

The first step necessary in establishing convictions in the hearts of our children is hearing, having the right mind set and openness to what "thus saith the Lord." Children need to be taught to listen carefully as God speaks to them through His precepts in the whole Word of God. Instruct your children to listen to their parents and preacher as God’s Word is shared in both precept and Principle.

As a second step, our children must not only hear the Word of God, but they must learn it. The first step of hearing establishes the mind set, and the second step of learning provides the knowledge necessary to have proper convictions. We must be diligent to teach our children how to apply the Word of God to their lives. Show them verses from the Bible that deal with drinking, smoking, cursing, movies, fornication, drugs, lying, obedience, respect, purity, and godliness.

The third step in the process of establishing convictions is to keep God’s precepts. I call the keeping of convictions the "heart set," as opposed to the "mind set" necessary for hearing. Children must have settled peace about God’s Word and have it laid up in the treasure chest of their heart; this is where "line upon line and precept upon precept" comes into focus.

The last step in helping your children to have convictions of their own is to do God’s precepts yourself. Moses made it clear that it was not enough to merely hear the Word of God or to learn it and keep it, as a monk may do, but rather we are also to do them. This is living a life in conformity with the Lord Jesus Christ and His Holy Word.

Your children will mimic what you do and that will help them develop habits that become convictions. It is a great joy when you see your children making decisions based upon their own convictions. We admittedly are living in a fast-paced society. Please, parents, don’t move so quickly that you do not have time for your children. Why not take time to praise your children when they keep some of God’s Word and yours instead of only recognizing the times they do not? The Bible tells us that "a foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him," and that "a wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother" (Prov. 17:25 and 10:1). May God give us the conviction to do right by our children in teaching them to have Biblical convictions of their own.